mother daughter relationships

Me, my mom and Elle (7)

If I could describe motherhood in two words I’d call it wonderfully tricky. The wonderful part you’ve all heard about-the love, the laughter, the pride and the calm in knowing your purpose. The tricky part is almost all the rest of it. The safety, the structure, the heartache, the fear, the emotions and the often overwhelming confusion. Am I doing the right thing? Am I setting a good example? Did I teach the right lesson? Will I ever sleep again? Truthfully as I write this I’m hyperventilating a bit. If you sit down and talk realistically to someone about parenthood it sounds like something only an insane person would engage in. This video about the “World’s Toughest Job” puts that into perspective. Do yourself a favor and watch it. Then call your mom. Then call her again. I think the relationship between a mother and her daughter can be very tricky. The pendulum in that relationship swings so furiously it can make you dizzy. It can be best friends, worst enemies, intense competitors and trusted advisors-and that’s just over lunch. I grew up loving my mom and spent a big part of my childhood trying to make her happy. I’m often told by her that I did a good job and that feels good. I never had to question her love for me, it was unconditional from day one. Sadly, she did not experience the same with her mom and it hurts to watch her struggle with that. What she didn’t get from her mother she made sure I got  above and beyond. And that’s really how so many of us parent-by taking what worked and what didn’t from our own. Having two or more girls is even more tricky. Elle, Coco and I are like a little team these days. Now that they’re older we are doing a lot of new things together-tennis, gardening, shopping (duh) and they are becoming little girlfriends. I struggle with it, always trying to keep the lines clear as to who is in charge, but I have fun with it too. Only time will tell what parts of my parenting work for them and what parts don’t. So for now I can only do what the rest of us parents do, my best. So on this Mother’s Day as I log in another year as a mom, I’ll tell mine that if she questions parts of her life, so be it. But never question if you are loved by your daughter, because you are. And I’ll say to Elle and Coco that all my dreams have come true just by you two being here and I never imagined how full life could be until I had you. You girls complete me. Now go brush your teeth and get to bed! Happy Mother’s Day!

Me and Coco (almost 4)

Special thanks to my dear friend Ashley for taking these gorgeous photos at my brother’s wedding. Words can’t thank you enough for your generosity. That’s why I’m taking you to the Four Seasons!-XO