stay at home motherhood

Mother jeans, flats (similar), chambray shirt (similar), earrings Anthropologie

I was with two of my closest friends the other night at a book signing (yes, I’m so cool) and we started talking about next chapters. They were both starting new jobs and I was adjusting to the kids new school schedule. Do I sometimes feel awkward during these conversations you ask?  You know the ones where your career girl friends or perfect balancer of work and family girl friends start musing on all they have going on and I’m like, yeah-I just cleaned all the shelves in my fridge and I finally put together the girls birthday photo albums. No, not at all (insert sarcastic tone here). The truth is I always feel a little inadequate when I leave my suburban bubble and see how much everyone else is doing out there when they’re not running carpool and supervising playdates. Don’t get me wrong, these girls of mine are nothing but loving, encouraging and completely supportive of my role as stay-at-home mom. And I really like being a SAHM. But I can’t help but feel a little jealous, and as always in awe of how they do all that they do. It was brought to my attention recently by my sister-friend (let’s be real, we’re beyond besties at this point) that I don’t finish things. She praised all of my beautiful starts and beginnings but observed the end game is where I struggle. After I told her to go f*** herself, I realized she had a point. (Brief pause to appreciate having such insightful, loving, caring forces in my life who aren’t afraid to tell me like it is-you know who you are). So of course I started obsessing and went through a list in my head to prove I’ve been finishing things: completed the 39-mile Avon walk and with my team raised over $20,000 to fight breast cancer, started and completed four new books (titles below), booked my trip to London in October for my brother’s wedding party, and successfully got both kids dressed and coiffed for their respective picture days. So there! But of course thinking of what I’ve finished, inevitably made me think of what I haven’t. My blog. It has been stagnant for a while and that always makes me sad. My t-shirt line. I designed, printed and distributed to friends a women’s and children’s logo t and then never did another thing with it. My retail site. I got a domain, designed a logo, shopped for wares in Mexico then let it go undone. Ok there. So of course this sparked a debate in my head and then it became a debate with some of my other SAHM friends and my working mom friends. Why isn’t being a mom enough? Why do we (I) feel like I’ve got to be doing more with my days than picking up and dropping off. My kids are healthy and happy (some of the time), isn’t that reward enough? I know, poor me (sarcasm). But this question is out there in all circles of life so it’s not just a White Girl Problem if you will. What I can tell you is it’s a complicated topic and one meant to be explored on its own stage, so stay tuned for more of it in upcoming posts. While I still love clothes, style tips and I’m always available to lend my eye to an ensemble or my ear to a closet dilemma, I think a part of my stalemate on the blog has been the challenge of writing more than 200 words about an outfit recipe. Whereas this stream of consciousness stuff comes easier to me. So even though a blog is never finished, this post is. Add it to the list. Thanks C-xo